Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Murphy: Our uninvited Guest

We kissed the kids goodbye Sunday after taking photos for my new novels and headed back to South Georgia.  We were looking forward to a week of just the two of us.  It was supposed to be like a mini vacation- just my husband and I.   It was supposed to be stress-less, fun, romantic stay-cation to unwind the week before I have to hit the books.

 Boy, were we wrong.

Let's rewind some, shall we?

We got the van checked out two days before our "first" vacation.  It had been making a wompy noise and I figured we were in need of new tires.  The lady from the mechanic called the day before we were to leave for Orlando.  "You can't take this van on your vacation."  She said.  "It's un-drivable."'

Un driveable?  I just drove it up there.  Not to mention back and forth to Waycross more times than I could count and a day trip to Macon with the whole family just two weeks prior.

Undrivable?

She  went on to tell me that all FOUR tires were bad... not just bad... warped, separated and gashed.  Then all manner of other things.  I heard tie rods, wheel joists broken... I just stopped listening after that.  All I could think was that we had driven our kids and Mara (Our 3rd sort of adopted kid) to see Cirque two weeks before.  It was a three hour trip one way in blinding rain.  It was driving wompy then and we just figured we needed to get a tire changed... Little did I know we were in a DEATH TRAP.

Needless to say: I thanked God that He kept us alive in that thing.  

The damage?  Almost a thousand dollars. (Tires are expensive.  Can I get a witness?) We canceled our vacation.  Two weeks before that we had just paid out the WAZOO to get our bathroom sink unclogged.  It was bad.  NOTHING was getting through.  I was afraid we'd find a squirrel in there.

The culprit:  a scrunchee.  It was like a mile up in under the house and the plumber had to bring out TWO pipe snakes to find it.  I swear it must be like that old pipe screen saver under there!  But, I digress.  After the clogged pipe and the van work we had no dough to go on vacation with so it was STAYCATION for the Crane family.

We stayed at home the next week and as it happened there was a tropical storm in Orlando and I caught a cold so all things considered... we did okay.

MeeMaw always said bad things come in 3's.

Multiples of three maybe.   Or maybe with us.  Mr. Murphy packed his bags and moved in for the summer.

The next thing: Dean's truck gets sick... the mechanic fixed that one in like one afternoon.  He's driving a truck from the 80's.  There's no gadgets. Should be pretty easy to fix.

After that: The car starts leaking.

We were on our way to Parris Island to see one of my "babies" graduate from Marine boot camp.  It was a great trip but it rained most of the drive there and back and I sat with my feet in a puddle on the way home.   We parked it in the garage but it never dried out.  Turns out... there's this hose that goes to your air conditioner... Yeah, mine had a hole in it so no matter HOW much we kept it out of the rain it was still wet.  (Our wonderful mechanic fixed that one for free- I am fairly sure our family could be single-handedly responsible for keeping him in business this summer.)  He said it was an easy fix so we left it for several days in the carport with the windows down... to dry out... Hang on to that thought for later though.

End of the summer- Alabama trip.

We take the van.  It was a great trip.  Granny Crane turned 80 today and we had a birthday party for her.  My kids got to visit 2 caves and an aquarium.  Soleil made a penguin friend.  It was a GREAT time.  I couldn't even tell you...



 Cathedral Caverns in North Alabama.  If you haven't been there-  Go.  It's great!



My kids stayed the extra week and we came home Sunday and WE ARE PUMPED about being "single" for a few days.  Well.. not exactly SINGLE but you know what I mean.

Monday:  Get up to go check on plants.  Despite the fact that it's rained every day and our yard looks like a jungle my tomatoes are brown... I water them and after that decide to go to lunch with my wonderful husband (Because I can do that.  There's no kids to round up) I'm not going to take the van.  I've been in it for seven hours straight yesterday.  I walk out to the car.

The previously wet.  Now locked tight with windows rolled up.  Sitting in the carport in the South Georgia heat. Car.

What do you suppose happens when you don't quite get the wet out of the carpet and then leave a car shut up for nine days in the heat?

Let me enlighten you if you don't know...

Mold.

The seats were spotted.  The seat belts were growing fuzz.  It looked a little like a beard.

Does anyone find it ironic that the tomatoes weren't growing but the car was?

I took the van and knew I'd hear it from my husband about driving a 'gas hog'.

We went out to eat.  I stopped at the library to do research for my novel.  All in all, it was a pretty good day.

Until I got home and noticed...

That smell.

The one like your brakes are on fire.   That smell.  You know it.  You smell it on the freeway and pray it's the car in front of you... yeah.  That was it.   It was coming from the passenger side tire.  I touched the tire.  I burned my hand.  Dang!  What was up with this van?

I returned to my mechanic.  Mrs. Heather gave me that "What did you do to it?" look.

They said it was the calipers.  I have no idea what that means but they said they could fix it.  

One's on fire.  The other is growing mold.  Figures.

My Momma asked me that night:  "What's the third thing?"

There wasn't a third thing.  Wasn't fire and mold enough?

Obviously not.

My husband calls from the bathroom as soon as I hang up the phone.   "The tub's leaking and I can't turn it off."  

Fire.  Mold.  Leaky tub.

Job said "Yet will I praise Him."  So we prayed.  "Thank you God that the car broke down here and I didn't have a wreck.  Thank you that you allowed me to see the mold before I drove to Jesup in this thing and ended up in the hospital with anaphilactic shock from my mold allergy.  Thank you Lord that the tub is leaking only a little bit and it can be fixed."

Tuesday:  Work on a book cover for TWO HOURS.  I'm a pencil and paper girl.  Not a computer artist.  I was ready to throw my laptop out the window before I got done.  But HEY, the covers LOOK GREAT JACK!




Mrs. Heather calls.  Tells me the van's ready.  I walk over to get it.  I've got a dentist appointment at three and I'm not taking moldy.

Six miles outside of town....  I'm like... wow... this thing is driving GREAT!

Until I reach 55 mph and... Houston, we have a problem.

The van commences to shaking and I have to pull off the road.

I call my mechanic.  They tell me not to worry and they're coming.  I stand under a pine tree until help arrives.

One of my neighbors stops to ask if he can help.  It is South Georgia after all and people still do help each other.   I tell him the mechanic is on the way and he assures me that "He'll do me right."  I know that.  He can't help it that I'm driving around a car that is from last century.  Things go wrong on antiques.

My husband calls.

"Hey, the plumber should be there in like... 10 minutes."

Well I hope not.  I'm sitting on the side of the road.  Do you know how much plumbers cost?  Like a hundred dollars an hour.  My doctor doesn't even make that much!

The dentist office calls to remind me I'm due in 20 minutes.

Needless to say.  I cancel the appointment.

I didn't want to go to the dentist that badly anyway.

The mechanic arrives just in time to pick me up, takes me home and drives the afflicted van to his shop.   The plumber shows up shortly afterward and fixes the leak in less than an hour and my husband and I go grocery shopping.

The van is waiting for me back at home when we arrive!  Best mechanic ever!  Thanking God that He kept us safe on our travels and the repairs that we had to do weren't as expensive as we thought.  Time for night night, kiddos.    Peace out, chicken guts and the like.